so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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