hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
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