I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
