I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
A+ Viking dick
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
