Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
