If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
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