hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Randomize
