just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
