Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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