So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Randomize
