People with herpes should wear stickers.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
