I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize