Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
God, I missed his penis.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize