you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Randomize
