Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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