my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
