So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize
