if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
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