hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
