i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
