You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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