playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I understand Curling. That high.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
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