I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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