I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Randomize
