The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
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