I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
