adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
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