So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
