I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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