That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
