I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
