come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize