Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
