She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
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