Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
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