i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
