I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
