do herpes really smell.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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