I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
