I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize