Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
