STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
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