Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
