youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Randomize