a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
