she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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