how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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