Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
