OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
