i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
