Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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