He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Randomize
