You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
