he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize