After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
