i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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