I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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