Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
ok first of all what the fuck
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
