if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I want her autograph on my taint
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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