A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
