sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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