You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
