I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
