Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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