There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Randomize
