He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Randomize