Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
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