Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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