She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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