I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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