two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize
