Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
