dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
