she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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