You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
