I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
