wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
