I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
