We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
